Virtual Discernment Counseling · Washington State

Discernment Counseling

Gain clarity when one or both of you are unsure whether to stay or go.

Who this is for

One of you is thinking about leaving. The other isn't ready to give up. You're not sure if you want couples therapy, you're not sure if you want to separate, you just know you can't keep living in the uncertainty. Discernment counseling is for couples at that specific crossroads: not sure whether to stay and work on it, or separate, and needing clarity before committing to either path.

This can also fit if you've already tried couples therapy and still aren't sure the relationship can, or should, continue, or if conflict, distance, or broken trust have left you both uncertain about the future. It's common for one partner to feel more sure than the other about wanting out. Wherever you're starting from, clarity is the goal, even when it doesn't come easily.

What we'll do together

This isn't traditional couples therapy. It's a focused, structured process to help you both understand what's brought you to this point and gain clarity on your path forward, whether that's couples therapy, separating, or staying as you are for now.

We'll look closely at what's actually happening between you, the patterns, the disconnection, and what each of you brings to it, and get specific about what would genuinely need to change for the relationship to work. Then we'll test that against reality: is that change something you both actually want, and something you're both able to follow through on? Naming a change and being willing to live it out are two very different things.

What to expect

Discernment counseling is shorter and more structured than ongoing couples therapy, usually one to five sessions. Within a session, we may spend time together and time with each of you individually, so you each get room to be fully honest while we're still working through this as a shared process. Expect direct conversations about where things actually stand, without pressure to land on a path forward before you're ready.

I won't tell you what to do. My role is to help you both get honest about where you actually stand, so whatever you decide, you decide it with your eyes open.

I'm Emily Burdette, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist offering virtual discernment counseling throughout Washington State. Sessions are $175 for 50 minutes, and we'll start with a free 20-minute consultation to see if we're the right fit, no pressure, no obligation to continue. You don't have to know which way you're leaning to start this conversation.

Book a free consultation